Of all the flaws a person could have, being too nice certainly isn’t the worst of them.
So said my grandmother when I lamented to her that I was too nice and therefore easy to pick on. The bullies of my youth preyed upon this aspect of my personality and I often wished I could be harder. If there was a way for me to go back in time and teach my young one skill to make her life easier, I would teach her how to throw a good punch.
But I can’t go back in time and I can be too nice. My grandmother did have a point. Being nice isn’t a terrible thing to be. There is a point, however, when the effort of being nice causes a person more harm than good. This is something I’ve been examining lately and I want to detail out all the main ways being too nice can be a real detriment to a person.
Being Too Nice to Consider Yourself
Letting someone who is clearly in a rush ahead of you in line is nice. Letting everyone who asks ahead of you is being too nice. If you say yes to every single thing without any consideration for yourself, you set yourself to be walked on. Believe me, I know. It’s been a bit of a life long struggle.
Being Too Nice to Tell the Truth
This is really just a fancy way of lying, which isn’t nice at all. Maybe you want to spare someone’s feelings. Maybe, in that moment, you don’t want to deal with their disappointment. Then later, you tell the real truth. Maybe you back pedal on an earlier statement or say no after agreeing to a task previously.
This isn’t really being nice at all, though it may feel like that in the moment. It’s a way of avoiding a situation or a conflict.
Being Too Nice to Stand Up
Standing up for yourself, a cause or a person is certainly a good and kind thing to do, but it can also be confrontational. You might not feel like you should stand up in the interest of keeping the peace, but that can be hugely flawed. Sometimes you have to stand up or risk letting yourself, a cause or a person get stomped on. Even if you’re not the one doing the stomping, you still share some of the blame for not trying to stop it from happening.